Bedtime Secrets

I am very thankful for the act of over-fueling.

I have a few 'tanks' or 'vessels' in my life that require fuel on a regular basis. We all do.

Not just one and not just from one source. I am mutifaceted.

The most obvious of course would be fuel for the physical body ~ Food.

I am looking forward to sharing my new lifestyle choice with you in the future; this blog is not about food.

Another source of fuel for the physical body and I believe, a big part of the emotional tank ~ is Sleep.

7-8 hours of sleep every 24 hours is crucial to our daily existence. However, sleep is also not the topic for today.

I could write for hours on the spiritual tank that requires re-fueling on a daily, hourly and sometimes minute by minute basis. But that too is for another entry.

The emotional tank is also multifaceted. We need various kinds of  fuel to keep our emotional state healthy. Fuel for peace. Fuel for patience. Fuel for kindness. For friendship. compassion. understanding.

We fuel each of these tanks by receiving the same from others. and vice-versa.

When you are offering up peace to those around you; you fuel your peace tank. It will never run out if you keep using it. Give out kindness and your kindness tank will be refueled. When you are a friend; you have friends. When you show compassion it returns to you at your greatest need. When you strive to understand those around you; others become understanding of you. When you put forth a positive attitude; you receive positive back from those around you. When you pour out love to all; God pours in love, abundantly to you! He over flows your tank with amazing love.

Last night as I lay in bed listening to both the dog and my husband breathing in their sleep, I was both sadened and frustrated. The frustrated part is easy....I am blessed as they are both quiet sleepers; VERY quiet. Usually.  Last night was different for some reason. Frustration kept me awake long enough to ponder, to pray and to process.

The sadness came as I thought about my husband and I mere months before. Before when my comfort tank was full. Before when the best part of my day was getting in bed with my man. Before when I was held each and every night...yes, every night; pulled as tight as tight possible into the warm curve of my husbands body.

I have always had the need for touch. From my children, my friends, my family and mostly my man. In the early years it used to drive him crazy....he wanted more space way back then. I had a need to cuddle, embrace, feel his presence in my bed. It is the main reason I don't sleep well when I am away from him. I learned a couple of years ago that if he isn't in bed with me, I can put a pillow behind my back (I am a side sleeper), pushed up tight enough to feel the pressure and pretend (I have a great imagination!) it is his presence I feel.

My man has changed over the years. He is like the finest of wines and gets better, BIG time better, with age! 

Many years ago we compromised with the 'need' versus 'no need' of bedtime touch. He is a back sleeper and I a side sleeper; he would take his right hand and rest it on my thigh. The warmth of his love radiated through out my whole body bringing comfort, peace and unconditional love as we drifted out to dream land.

In the last four years our need for touch, comfort and assurance that all is well in our world escalated. The hand on my thigh was not enough to ease my broken heart. It was no longer enough to send soul-mate vibes that everything in our world, our lives, our marriage was great. I no longer felt like I could take on the world with my man at my side.

We both needed more. At our most desperate time, God breathed peace, unconditional love, foreverness, comfort and completeness into our hearts and showed us how to manifest it with one another.

He gifted us with an amazing fuel for our love tanks.

I started to love going to bed. It was where the wrongness of the world disappeared. It was where the stress of the day didn't exist. It was where I was cherished. It was where I was comforted. It was where I found strength. It was where all my burdens were lifted. It was where I gave myself up completely and allowed the power of unexplainable, unconditional and unimaginable love to warm me and fill me and take over my head, heart, spirit and soul.

What is this magic fuel for the heart?  It is the art of cuddling, snuggling or dare I say, spooning! The wonderful curve of my husbands body is a perfect nest for me to snuggle deep inside, with his arm wrapped around me and pulling me in tight. Holding me. Praying for me. Praying for us. He perfected this art and made my world a much better place. A safer place. A spiritual place. A place I don't like to leave and a place I can't wait to return to.

The fuel tanks for our love was filled to over flowing prior to my trip out west. Prior to the shattering of our comfort zones and well built walls. Prior to our organized day to day existence. Prior to God's intervention of our own plans and His Divine re-structuring of souls destined for greater things. 

That was then, this is now. Thus the sadness last night.

Everything is a little off these days and all is not quite right in our world.

Neither he or I have the strength necessary to pour complete comfort into the other. We are barely surviving with our own personal basic needs. We have allowed stress and busyness, worry and fear, overwhelming thoughts and sheer exhaustion to burn the fuel we stored up in our hearts for the last few years. 

Don't misunderstand me.

Our commitment to one another never wavers. Our marriage vows to one another are written in stone, blood, sweat and tears. Our lives together are for always and for ever. The road will never be to tough or to rocky, to windy, to hilly, to curvy, to broken or to non-existent. A broken road is NOT an option. Our joined hearts don't compute any other equation. We are joined at the heart, the alter, the soul, the spirit and literally the hip.

Why do I share this with you? Why put myself out there once again in a most vulnerable state. Share something as sacred, as private as a our bedtime rituals? 

To encourage you. To encourage couples to pour out love into one another and watch your tank be overfilled with abundance. To encourage parents to fill the oft empty tanks of our children that have been depleted in a self-centered world. To let you know that despite turbulent tides; there is hope for an empty relationship, broken heart and a wounded family.

An empty tank can be temporary. Fuel is available. It is free. It flows abundantly. Love is not a toxic fuel. It is not depleted unless abused; but then that was never love to begin with.

If love is poured out enough...I have learned that it can be stored; for a time. Eventually it can dry up. But it can also lay dormant; waiting to be ignited. And it only takes a spark to start the fires of love into a burning inferno once again.

Will you please excuse me, somewhere in the disarray around me I have a lighter... would you like to borrow it when I am done? ☺

Blessings to you today as you re-kindle the love in your life and fill the emotional tanks of those around you. ♥ LR


Post-script January 20, 2011 ~  Over the last 5 months since our move to our island home, our love tank has been continuously receiving 'fuel' to the point that we are once again filled to overflowing with healthy, strong, amazing, wonderful and heartfelt love for each other! 


And everyone says....awwwwwww!  =)  


Blessings be yours as you snuggle in deep with those that warm your heart ♥ LR