In The Evening.....

It felt so amazing to write again. What a switch to my inner most being once I hit the 'publish' button. We all have a purpose. When we are living life according to that purpose, peace comes. Our purpose can and does change depending on circumstances, times, relationships, age, decisions, events and seasons.


Two days ago I listed all my dreams, desires and wishes in my prayers to God. I don't do that very often. I have never been a very good dreamer as I do NOT like disappointment or failure. Yesterday, before I wrote I felt like I would never be granted, given or be blessed with any of my dreams coming to realization. Today...ALL things are possible!

When my head nestles into my pillow at night
When my man wraps me into himself, holding tight
When I allow darkness to blanket and take over the light
It is then that I trust that all is so right.


When my breathing settles and my mind starts to slow
When I let each thought, each remark, each action...go
When I forgive; it is for others and self, this I know
It is then that peace comes and worry does go.


When I lay there in quietness and allow love to be
When I look to the stars and they twinkle at me
When I wonder inside what the Future does see
It is then that gentleness comes, I am free.


When I end the day the same way it began
When I offer it to God and in no way to man
When I let it all go and trust in His plan
It is then I accept His love...because I know I can!

Blessings to you today as give it all back to Him ♥ LR

In the Morning....

Jumping in to the middle seems to work best for me. No explanation. No apologies. Just SPLASH!


When I began Blogging in July I was at a very high point of emotion. Very positive. With Direction. Purpose. Desire. It was relatively easy to write. To Share. To bring you into my world. 


I have been desiring to blog, to write again. It is in me to write. Often I have things, ideas, thoughts, dreams and events I formulate into the beginnings of a blog. I have attempted many times over the last couple of months to begin again. And then I come here...to my laptop and I stall out. I freeze. My mind goes blank.


I know why.


I am weak. I don't do vulnerable well. I am not seeking 'help'. I am struggling. 


I don't like to share when I am here....


I have tried so many ways to pull myself out of where I keep falling. It is time to turn to pen and paper, Heart to Keyboard. Pouring out all that I am. Believing that I am loved no matter the journey I am on. Believing a key purpose of this journey, this life, this heart is to lay it out for many to see. Not because I am unique, special, one-of-a-kind, different (although I most certainly am all of those things!) I write and am called to share because YOU too have struggles. YOU too are on a journey, a path. A life of joys, delights, treasures, pain, sorrow. grief, struggles, successes and failures. YOU too begin each day fresh & new, desiring to make it a better day than the last. Desiring to bury yesterday and move forward with new resolve, promises and hope. WE are so different from one another and yet we are so much the same....

In the morning when I open my eyes
I give my attention to the heavenly skies


I offer myself, my day and my heart
To the one who gifts me a brand new start


I search for the hope that lies there within
And seek for His peace He offers again


I can't do the time set before me once more
I cry out to Him before my feet hit the floor


As the sky comes to light and lets go of the night
I focus on promise and let go of the fright


As I lazily stretch and become aware of the day
I open up heart, soul and spirit as I continue to pray


His love, peace and mercy reach out for my heart
pouring out grace and strength as I make move to just start.....


Blessings to you today as your feet hit the floor ♥ LR

Is Your Consent Form Completed?

To believe and consent to be loved while unworthy is the great secret.

I didn't know why I couldn't consent to God loving me until two days ago.

Two days ago, I had a revelation that I never felt, never believed that God could forgive me of my past mistakes. Past wrongs. Past sins. I never accepted the forgiveness. I never forgave myself.

Consequently, I didn't believe God could truly love me. 

30 years in the North American Christian Church and I didn't believe God loved me. A place where Gods love is preached. A place where there is often an outward display of love being exemplified. A place where church attenders are taught that 'God is Love'. He does love because that is what and who HE is. 


God forgave. God forgot. God loved. 


God forgave me. I forgot to forgive myself. I couldn't accept the love He offered.

My Bible read "For God so loved the world (except for Robyn) that he gave His only son....."

God heard the prayers of the faithful (except mine). God answered prayers all the time (just not mine).

I came to accept it. I saw it daily. I felt it. I lived it. I believed it. I was conscience of it. I was very aware. It was a thought I pondered often.

I was unlovable. God didn't love me. Couldn't love me.

I didn't love me. Couldn't love me. I was unlovable.

I believed this to be a fact. The truth. The way it was. The way it would always be.

And then came June 8, 2009. It was my darkest hour since June 14, 2007 @ 5:25pm.




It was the moment I decided I was done. I wasn't going to do this 'life' any more. I couldn't. I didn't have what it took to take the next step forward. I decided to stop. Not continue. Not heal. Not move on.


I cried out in pain. I cried out in agony. I cried out in desperation. I cried out in complete surrender.


God had a different plan. He had a new message. He had something to say to me. He had a life line. He had a way out.


I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11.

On that bleak and despairing day, I heard the still quiet voice of God. I took a baby step forward and fell into His arms. 


For the first time EVER I felt God's love washing over me. Pouring down like rain. Soaking the dry and the parched. Flooding the empty. Filling the void.


It took some time for the reality to soak in (pun intended!). But soak it did. Drenched. Flooded.

My heart started to refresh. Renew. Hope. Believe. Mend. Heal. And receive.

I allowed Gods love. I consented to being loved. I accepted love.

The journey I had been on my whole life changed in an instant. I knew love. And it was beautiful.

The grief journey I had been on for two years took a turn for the better as I allowed, as I gave permission for God to love me.

Two days ago I realized that by consenting to God loving me; I had started to love myself. I was elated as I realized for the first time since I was 16 years old I had truly forgiven myself. Some where along the way, along the path I walked........ I let go, and let God.


Bless you today as you give it up and consent to be loved by God ♥ LR

Missing US

No matter how much I try to believe it. Want to believe it. Strive for it. Claim it to be so.


It is simply not true. I can not think it into existence. I have tried to make it happen.


I have failed.


There is a reason My Man and I have been together for just over 32 years.


Neither one of us does 'alone' well. We are not independent of one another. We are needy for each other. We not only like us; we miss us, we need us, we live best when we are us. WE don't do I or me well at all!


We fail at independence.


I often play the part of an independent 21st century kinda gal. I can come across as needing no one and relying only on self. At times I played the part so well I almost had myself convinced that I could do this life alone.


The last couple of months My Man and I have been apart more than we have been together.


He has been closing the book on our past.. Packing, hauling, working, finalizing, ending, selling and sealing.


32 years of us. 28 years of raising a family. 24 years living, working and being part of an amazing community. 12 years in one house; our last Alberta home.


I am in a new land. Opening a new book. Establishing the beginnings. New job. New home. New friends. New lifestyle. Setting the foundation for the next 32 years of us.


We have been taking care of the necessary. Trying to live in the moment; wanting to enjoy the journey. Thinking we are independent and can do life as a single person.


We can't and nor do we desire to.


It is time to be us again. I don't want to walk alone. I don't want to eat alone. I don't want to shop alone. Drive alone. Cook alone. I certainly am done sleeping alone! I don't want to dream alone. I don't want to move forward alone. I have explored our new surroundings as much as I am going to without My Man at my side. I don't want to experience any more island life alone.


I wasn't designed to be alone. I was created to be one of two. I am okay with that design.


I am aware there are many things that we are capable of as individuals. Many traits, personalities, quirks, habits and hobbies that we like about ourselves. That make us who we are. We are different & unique from the other with various talents and gifts. But yet, when we are together, when we are us; truly, completely us...we meld, mould, work as one so well, that we often don't see where one begins and the other ends.


We are counting down the days when we will live under the same roof again. If all goes well, we will be in each others arms in 5 days! (insert big time happy dance here!)


We aren't kids any more. We don't live in a fantasy world. We have been dealt enough reality to know what is up ahead. We have had 32 years experience of reality.


When we come together it will be glorious....for a time. It will be wonderful, romantic, special. Full of adventure and excitement. So much to see. So much to explore. So much more work to do. So many hours and days of adjusting to one another again.


We will slowly dismantle the haphazard independent life we have been struggling through. There will be discussions, arguments, tears and even out right fighting (NO, not physical! But definitely bigger than just an argument!). I know this because over the years, we have been here before.


We will talk it through. We will hug it out. We will alter our stubborn minds. We will soften our hardened hearts. We will pour out love on one another. We will snuggle and cuddle. We will make it work once more. I know this because over the years, we have been here before.


We will let the knowledge of our commitment to one another wash over us until the depth and purity of our love floods our hearts and brings unity once again.

Once again filling our daily existence with..... us! 


May today hold blessings of great measure in your relationships with loved ones; whether it be spouse, children, parents or friends ♥ LR

Yesterday

I didn't have a very good day yesterday.
Actually, I haven't had a very good week.


I cried more than I breathed.
I stressed more than I prayed.
I wallowed in darkness more than searching for the light
I worried.
I fretted
I agonized.
I allowed negative to consume me.
I allowed loneliness to cover me.
I allowed weakness to have power.
I forgot who I was.
I forgot who I had become.
I forgot who was living within me
I forgot that I no longer live to please people
I forgot how to let it all go.
I became overwhelmed.


Will you forgive me for reverting back to the victim mentality that I lived for four long years. That's what happened yesterday. That's how things started out on Monday.


I was reminded once more, that I don't do well without input from my support system; my cherished friends and amazing family. I don't do alone well. I need, crave & desire positive affirmation. My confidence seems to be based on 'good for you' words.


It is because of this basic need within my spirit that I am a people pleaser. Yup, tis true! I spent years, pretty much my whole life, striving to make everyone in my world happy. At all costs.


If I could make others happy, if I could put their needs before my own, if I could make them feel special; I was awarded with 'thank you's', smiles and words of praise. It felt good. It boosted my confidence. I felt on the right track. I was going in the right direction.


I did a lot of things for people that I shouldn't have. At times I compromised my values. My morals. My health. My bank account. My faith. My convictions. 


I was filled with such a great need to please some people SO much that I put my children, my marriage, my friends, my family and my God in a place of pain, embarrassment, shame and hurt.


Why? When I loved them all so much, why could I neglect them as I turned to please others. Why is it so easy to do the things we don't want to do. The things we know is not right. 


Romans 7:9 says it perfectly; For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want


Yesterdays writing came from an old place. A place of pleasing others. A place that pushed new self to the back burner. A place that forgot who I had become in Christ. 


A place that left out "Be still, and know that I am God! I will be honoured by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world." Psalm 46:10, As well as "Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD" Psalm 27:14


As I wrote, I thought of what some of my readers may be thinking and less of what God may be thinking or wanting from me. Less of Him and way too much of others; way to much of the old ME! 


I woke up weak. I rose negative. I walked with a heavy heart. I allowed the tasks before me to weigh me down. I forgot to look up and give up. I forgot what it meant to not take back once an attempt to give was made.


I forgot who I was living for, striving for, writing for. I forgot the simplest truth. I forgot the easiest path in life. I forgot that by pleasing only One; I would be pleasing to and for others. 


Yesterday I forgot but today it comes to mind,
that living life for others is not the best kind.
Yesterday I woke with worries, with problems on my heart,
I allowed the stress and troubles to prevent a happy start.


Yesterday the burdens were many; the struggles weighed me down,
I wasn't able to process in my head without a frown.
Yesterday I walked away from peace and fell into despair,
a blanket of darkness shrouded me and nothing in life felt fair.


Yesterday I anguished and left God out of the mix,
Even though my spirit knew it was easy for Him to fix.
Yesterday I needed confidence and hungered after praise,
And so in my weakness I fell into a past phase.


Yesterday was brutal; I feel beat up and sore,
Today I have every intention of making even the score!
Yesterday is over and no more to pull me back,
Today all things are new and I am standing on track!


Yesterday was yesterday; today is what is now,
the old is buried deep again; I was reminded how.
This day is all brand new for me and direction is before
Each step I take I hope you see I need to please Him more!


Blessings be yours this day as you remember to look up and give up ♥ LR 

Prepare to STOP

It is day 5 in my new little community. 9 walks with my faithful 'muttski'. 2 trips to the spa. 4 trips into town.


15 times down Qualicum Road; 15 times obeying the sign.

We are trained, taught and expected to come to a complete halt when we reach a sign that looks like this. 


It is advisable, strongly so, to look both ways before proceeding across the roadway, pathway or train tracks.


First to the right, then to the left and again to the right before crossing over and carrying on our way.


We stop because it is safe do so. It is expected. We do not have the right away. We are trained to. It is the law. 


One small sign can bring the biggest of vehicles to a standstill. The fastest of drivers screech to a halt. 


Even when no one is watching, we stop. When we believe to be all alone, we stop. When no one else is on the road, we stop.


Although I am a law abiding citizen; I have discovered it is difficult for me to stop at this particular sign, this intersection. I don't understand the 'why' of 'why do I have to'.


But then, really? How big of a surprise is it to read this about me?  I like to know 'why' in pretty much every aspect of my life.


Why do you like me?
Why am I loved by you?
Why did you hurt me?
Why did you say that?
Why are you acting that way?
Why was it built there?
Why can't you just fix it?
Why can't I say that?
Why wouldn't you like me?
Why can't you understand?
Why can't they see?
Why do you have more?
Why do you have less?
Why not just move on?
Why not love?
Why did he have to go?
Why does she have 'walls' around her?
Why does it work that way? 
Why not this way?
Why would you do that?
Why don't you communicate with me?
Why believe?
Why do you care?
Why do I care?
Why stop when I want to keep going?


Often time there are good, logical, wise answers to the many 'why's' in my head. Often times...there aren't any; there is no justifiable reasoning.


It is clear that at certain times in life I am not to ask why. I am to just do it! Just trust. Just believe. Just wait. Just S T O P.


Lately, I have been called to see the sign. To halt. To cease. To pause. To brake. To Stop.


Stop doing.
Stop fixing.
Stop making it all work.
Stop striving.
Stop fretting.
Stop worrying.
Stop stressing.
Stop asking.
Stop searching.


S  T O P


No matter the intersection. No matter the busyness. No matter the emptiness. 


S T O P


Even when it doesn't make sense. 


S T O P


The intersection I write about is 2 feet from the corner of Mant & Qualicum. The train tracks cross over Qualicum and run parallel with Mant.


The train ceased operation in April of this year. The train doesn't run on the tracks that cross over Qualicum. Nothing does.


But 15 times in the last 5 days; I have stopped where the white line on road says to S T O P, where the sign at the side of the road says S  T O P.  


I stop and look both ways before proceeding. I ask myself why I should.  I do it in obedience to the rules of the road. I do it because it is expected of me. I do it because I am a responsible driver. 


I do it because I am new here. I do it because every other vehicle does it too. I stop because I am told to.


I see this sign as a valuable and much needed command for my life, today. This week. This month. This year. I am being asked to simply stop.


S T O P


And slow down.
Pause.
Don't ask why.
Just obey.
Look.
Listen.
Stop until the sign is removed.
Stop until it is time to move, time to go.
Stop even when it doesn't make sense.
Stop. Trust. Wait.


S T O P


The time is nigh for rest and restoration for my heart, my soul, my spirit, my mind. 


Blessings be yours as you read & obey the signs set before you today ♥ LR

De-Bugged!

OK! Bring on the rest. The sleep. The peace.


I have succeeded in cleaning every nook and cranny of our new house. Every closet. Light fixture. Window frame. Cupboard. And baseboard heaters.


I have set up our new mattress and box spring. Cleaned the sheets and fluffed the pillow. (Sad it is only one pillow that I have to fluff as my man is still in Alberta....for a time)


For the record.... I did not scream, run or freak out when I found the dead spider in my sheets the other morning. I simply shook the sheets outside and then washed them.


I also did not scream, panic or otherwise react when the live spider started creeping towards me from the sink I had my hands and berries in. And, let me add here....he was BIG!! The size of a quarter with a squish-able body. OK...so I don't know if the body was squish-able as I turned the hot water onto him and washed him done the drain. No squishing involved.


But let me tell you...this spider could swim! Against the hot spray pounding down on him he fought for his existence. I am sorry; I couldn't allow his existence. NOT in my sink. NOT in my kitchen. NOT in my house.


I have come a long way baby!!!  I think of the black spider I found in my hand as I scooped out dirt, dust and little toys from the kitchen vent one day when the boys were quite young.


Now THAT was a sight to behold! I danced and shook, screamed and hyperventilated until my wonderful man came to my rescue only to discover the cause of such distress was PLASTIC!  It may have been a little plastic black spider, but to this day I still shudder at the memory!

It's the little things that matter. Little spiders that hide until you are not looking and then voila....they are sitting next to you while eating your curds and whey!


Little mice that leave traces in every spot imaginable to show they are present.


Little beetles. Little flies. Little slugs. Little pests.


Little grievances. Little traits. Little habits. Little annoyances. Little quirks. Little words. Little communication.


Too often we over react to the little things in life. Experience, maturity & rational thinking help to keep the little.....little.


Sometimes small measure is a big deal!  A little patience. A little understanding. A little compassion. A little love. A little faith. A little hope. A little can go along way.


It takes a wise soul, soft heart, discerning spirit and a calm head to remind us what are the little things that truly matter. 


Listen
Intently
Take
Time
Love
Everyone


........just a little bit more today.


May your day be filled with pocketfuls of little blessings ♥ LR

♥JOY in the Morning♥

a Plethora of emotions, thoughts and words flood my head as I sit before my laptop; fingers ready to click out a writing with desire to bless hearts, lives and self.

My mind rests on the brokenness of families whose hearts will never be the same as they bury, say goodbye to or just remember the lives that are no more....taken by the hand of the lives that are no more.

I cannot imagine the pain and hurt that consume those families; those mothers. My prayers are heaven sent with you in mind♥

My heart aches for others who have said 'see you on the other side'. Others who lived a full life. A life with joy, happiness, fulfilment, regret-free and full of great rewards. Lives that have been put to rest after many years in the day-to-day. I pray for lonely families that peace and comfort be with you♥

My heart cries out in understanding to those who grieve for lives lost in the blink of an eye. Those who weren't given a chance to say goodbye or see you later. The shattering of the heart that comes despite the buffering of shock. My desire would be for you to wait out the pain and look for light in the darkness that surrounds you...it does come♥

The confusion, the questions, the hurt, the anger that come to those who have lost precious people to sickness and disease....is met with like mindedness and heartfelt sorrow as I hold you close in my heart. Wishing for understanding and seeking comfort for your broken heart♥

It is because of the joy that blesses me this day, this time, this place, that my heart weeps for those who hurt. Those whose lives have been changed, altered, re-arranged.

It is the happiness that bubbles out of my pores the last few days that sends my mind to souls, spirits and hearts that are no longer complete. Wounded, broken, crushed, shattered hearts.

The sorrow that I ponder is not in punishment for the place that I find myself in today. Rather, it is the disbelief of my own heart, my own pain, my own hurt, my own brokenness, my own journey.

I am overcome with tears. With emotion. With Joy. With awe. With humbleness. With goosebumps!

As I look around me. As I listen. As I hear. As I see the wonder of creation. The wonder of what surrounds me. The glorious display of beauty. The uniqueness of this place, of this earth. I am awestruck.

And I am blessed.

Blessed to be on the other side of the darkness, the gut wrenching pain, and the grief that takes over every second. Fills every breath. Consumes every thought and affects every choice.

I am blessed.

Blessed with new strength. New hope. New desires. New faith. New dreams. New love. New beginnings.

With life comes death. With death comes life....if you so choose.

I have found great truth in the simplest of bible verses....

Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning.

Yes, the night may be long, frightening and lonely. But endure. Move forward. Seek healing. Seek strength. Seek peace.

For a time I gave up. I stopped trying. I stopped moving. I hated. I wept. I acted out. I lashed out. I inflicted pain on others; and on self.

And then I took a wee small step outside of the blackest of nights.

It is in the light of day when JOY floods your soul, fills your heart and settles your mind.

Be blessed today dear one as you allow JOY to wash over you in the brilliance of the morning sun ♥ LR

Alberta in my rearview mirror

This is big.
This is terrifying.
This is crazy.
Scary.
Exciting.
Faith-filled.
Lonely.


I have asked myself many times over the last week especially. WHAT ARE WE DOING?


And then when I think I just may not follow through,
When I think my emotion is just to much to handle,
When I think I am going to allow the fear STOP me...


This is what came up randomly TODAY on the facebook application; what God wants you to know....
'that you always have one last resort. When nothing else works, surrender to God, and let your faith carry you through.'


Yesterdays was just as timely.....


'you were created to be alive. You weren't made to simply survive until you die. Live it up, embrace life. This entire planet exists for all God's creatures ~ and that includes you! Don't wait to start living, begin right now, with your very next breath. There are many wonderful experiences waiting for you, so get going!'


I have always taken the words from this facebook application lightly but still believing there are no consequences. God can and does use all kinds of communication to get through to his people. Heck if His voice, His words can come from a burning bush....then, ya; I am going to consider the words and maybe even take them to heart once in a while!


Regardless of whether the words are truly from Him...they are true enough words. They fill me with positive energy and encouragement. It is time to 'get going, start living now and embrace life in its fullest'


I don't have all the answers. I don't have everything carefully laid out. I don't have any guarantees at the end of my drive and I don't have a 'how to be successful' for the beginning of our Island life.


And so today, I surrender all my apprehension. All my fear. All the lonely feelings. All the unchartered paths ahead.


And I reach deep within myself, my soul, my heart, my spirit and I remember what Faith is and how it looks.


I choose to go today believing that God is leading, God cares, God knows what is up ahead; he put it there!


At my darkest hour; God was there. Why would He not be present in something as exciting as embarking on a long time dream?

Therefore my friends when the car door shuts and the garage door opens,
I dwell not on the tears that fall, not on the grief that breaks the heart,
not on the empty house that echoed my departing footsteps.


I will not let fear shadow the brilliance of the day nor doubt to ride beside,
I will not allow wonderful memories to hold me prisoner
My eyes don't need to see, it is my heart that carries all the pictures.


As I travel west to the beauty rising up before me
To the mountains that proclaim Majesty; God is with you,
I am reminded that so long as I have Faith, I can do all things.


I dry my eyes once more; I sing along with the music that fills the car
I speak gently to the dog at my side and I thank God for the peace that floods my soul,
The mirror reflects what I will always hold onto; where the roots will forever be deep and my heart will always know as my Alberta Home.

What will you see in your rearview mirror as you go forth in faith?


Bless you today as you surrender to God, and let your faith carry you through ♥ LR




Please note that with the travelling and settling over the next few days ~ Healing Rain Blog will not be written until Monday the 29th of August. Take care my friends and family. Love to you all.  LR

Great Boots!

{Goodbye}


What a ridiculous word...today.


an oxymoron at times...like now.


When I looked 'Good' up in the dictionary, I was filled with positive, uplifting feelings.


With words like;


fresh, unspoiled, uncontaminated, valid, genuine, real, healthy, strong, vigorous, financially safe or sound, honourable, worthy, respectable, enjoyable, desirable, pleasant, happy, etc.. 


You can't help but feel...........um, well..........GOOD!


The word 'Bye' alone is just a word. A quick ending to conversation. A quick wave of the hand, a slight nod of the head, a small word that the dictionary says is only an abbreviation when used in context with departing. An abbreviation to the word on the butchers block today, {Goodbye}.


Today I don't see how you can mix the positive, happy feelings of 'good' with the smallness, yet final word of 'bye'.


Could we change it up a bit?  How about 'good buy'?  NOW that I like!  Both those words fill me with happy emotions!  I got a really 'good buy' on a fantastic pair of boots yesterday!  Seriously...really 'good buy'! How does that sentence NOT fill you with joy? Puts a smile on your face, doesn't it!
☺
Nothing permanent about those words together; just stating a fact. The only way you can make it better is to change 'good' to 'great'!  A 'great buy' on great boots! Again happy, positive feelings come when you say those words together.


Unfortunately the meanings of 'good buy' and 'goodbye' don't even come close to similar...


However, there are times when 'goodbye' does evoke happy.


After a bitter encounter with a difficult neighbour. An unsolicited sales person on the phone. An exhausted end to a long wait for vehicle servicing. The passing of a slow moving vehicle. A visit of endurance with a difficult family member. The ecstatic ending of a life long career. The closure and healing of brokenness. The release of all that is negative & oppressive.


I get that when you say {Goodbye} you are wishing the other person a happy, positive leave. Today, for me, it is just too much emphasize on the 'leave' and not much truth in the 'good'.


I search my heart, my mind, my head
For peace within when 'good' is said


The fact remains, I can't help but cry
When 'good' is followed with the word 'bye'


Last night, this month, yesterday, Monday
Blessings were poured out in a wide array.


Today friends, renewed friends and young ones too
Came out to wish us both 'adieu'.


The hugs and cards, gifts and such,
The fact you came meant so very much!


There is no doubt that 'good' is great,
With our hearts entwined and blessed by fate.


{Goodbye} the dictionary wants us to see
is simply short for 'God be with ye'!


When God is brought to the close of day,
& His blessings poured as we move away,


How can I not find the peace I seek
when changes cascade at the end of my week.


And so today I won't say {Goodbye}
Only "God be with ye". I have had my cry.


Blessings be yours as we part at this time,
thankful, so thankful for hearts entwined!


Love and blessings to you today; from my ♥ to your ♥  LR

Let Go....

She is a reminder that I don't control it all.

I have done everything I can think of to make it right.

Of course if I knew what was wrong in the first place that would be very helpful!

I have questioned her and asked what I did that was so worthy of her hatred.

I even approached her husband and discussed it with him.

He is a nice man; calls me by name, says 'hi'

Her boys talk to me, smile at me even.

I have come to the conclusion that she is in my life to show that I can't control it all.

I can do all that I believe is right.

I can manipulate some situations, and if I am honest with myself; I can manipulate some people.

I can anticipate the actions of friends, family, customers, co-workers.

I can live according to others expectations and the expectations of our society.

I can live according to godly principles.

But I am reminded daily that I don't have ultimate control.

No matter how sweet I may be; I can't make all people like me.

No matter how much I give to others; I can't buy friendship

No matter how wise I may think I am; I can't make others learn from me.

No matter how much knowledge I may acquire; I can't make others hear me.

No matter how I live my life for God; I can't make others love Him.

I don't have control over all. 

I have decided that I don't need the answers.

I don't need to know the why.

I don't need her love.

I don't need her acceptance.

I don't need her good wishes.

I don't have control over everything.

12 years of living beside someone who hates so openly. I have to believe that God allowed our horrid neighbourly relationship to teach me something. 

It pleases me to know that I can walk away in a couple of days with a thankful heart for a lesson finally learned. I will walk away. I will shake the dust from my feet. I will stop wondering. I am done trying.

I have no regrets; I have peace. I am not in control.

There have been other events in my life that have also been reminders; I am not the one in control.

I don't have the ultimate wisdom. I don't have the ability to see into eternity or even into tomorrow. I am not privy to the 'hows' and 'whys'. I don't want that responsibility. I don't want that kind of control.

I have learned that when I give it ALL to God; He turns it ALL into something truly amazing!

I like that He is in complete control. Thank you Laura for reminding me!

Blessings and Peace to you today as you let go....and let God ♥ LR

Quick...Jump!

Do you know why I write? Here. 


I have asked myself that question a number of times over the past few weeks since I began.


I write from my heart.


I write with passion.


I write to clear my head.


I write to soothe my heart.


I write because I feel driven to.


I write to help make sense out of my emotions.


I write to help make sense out of what life throws my way.


I write to share my heart.


Mostly?  I write because I am not the only one who has gone through,


 is going through, 


or will go through difficult times, days, events and challenges in ones life.


I don't write to have you feel sorry for me.


I don't write to have you fix everything (or anything) for me.


I don't write to make you feel sad or bad.


I don't write to preach or save or judge.


I DO write because it fills me with joy.


It encourages my soul, heart and mind.


It helps me to take time to reflect on the last 24 hours.


It helps me to put the last 24 hours in perspective.


It brings healing to my inner most being.


I write to share my life's experiences with you in hopes that YOU will be encouraged.


That YOU will be filled with joy.


That YOU will see life in a different light, a different perspective.


I allow my broken self to be revealed because I want you to know it isn't easy....this life;


But it is very do-able. It is possible. No matter the obstacles before me; before YOU.


We can press on.


When we are done surviving; done holding on for dear life.... We can Thrive!


We can move forward. We can live life to it's fullest. We can be truly happy.





A wise man in a kiddies park told me long ago,
that life holds many a trial and he wanted me to know,
That I can choose to tackle each hurdle on my track
the moment that it comes up without looking back.


If I decide to go around it; it is placed just down the road
waiting for the strength I seek to face it's heavy load.
Each time I skip that hurdle set in front of me
I put the gifts back on the shelf that will help to set me free.


Therefore, throughout my life, when challenges arise
I make a conscience choice to jump; and reach towards the prize
Putting off the inevitable never gets us very far
What is your next hurdle; how high is set the bar?





May my words today for you, give strength to run your race,
jumping over obstacles and helping to set the pace,
challenges are many and trials come oft tis true,
But don't look past the fact;  jumping makes a better you! 







Blessings be many as you run the race before you and strength be yours as you jump with all ya got! ♥ LR

Connected ♥

Just like the mess around me; my computer screen stares up at me.
And again, just like the mess and tasks that surround me; I am overwhelmed.


Each morning I rise, without an alarm clock before 6am....usually,
Anxious to see what God has placed on my heart; laid at my fingertips
What words He encourages to bubble out from deep within to share here.


This morning I rose just after 7am.
I was discouraged to find that I woke with the heaviness of heart that I went to bed with.
And even more discouraged to find that the 50 minute noise of the dishwasher...has ended,
and I still have a blank computer screen before me.....


I have less than a week left.
I am overwhelmed with all that has been started,
burdened by the work not yet even begun.


I am grieving for our lives here,
clinging to the past.
The past that filled us, shaped us, moved us, made us.
the past that is fast becoming cherished memories.


I have concerns for our future.
We are leaving the most amazing support team
any one family could ever hope to have.


Who will we turn to in our new lives?
Who will support us at our weakest moments?
Who will encourage us to keep on keeping on?
Who will love us through the not so good times in our future?


I am not dwelling on the negative.
I have not become a doom-sayer.
I am not speaking failure into the universe.


I am simply wondering.
Simply contemplating life; life with it's good days and not so good days.
Life with the ups and downs.
Life outside of the rose coloured glasses.
Life in the half empty glass.
Life with a bag full of lemons; before the sweetness of sugar and the coolness of ice.


It is a harsh reality to realize; no matter how much I think I give of self to others,
That I take a great deal from some of the same.
It has hit me this morning that even at my strongest,
I have given my weakest to some amazing life long friends.


I may have moved away from some of the darkest moments ever imagined.
But I am very aware I have NOT accomplished any of it on my own.
I have given some of the worst that I could ever be or do,
to some of the best God created. 
I call them heroes, angels, saints, family, friends.


I don't take lightly the love or generous hearts of others,
Every kind deed, sweet word, genuine hug, precious gift, minute spent and sip shared
has filled my own heart with healing, acceptance, friendship and unconditional love.


It is because you have loved so deeply and accepted me so freely that I find the strength once more
to look at the mess before me, to take a cleansing breath and jump back in.


I will continue to move forward.
I will remember that though our past is here,
There are many that will be our future as well.


Hearts don't need physical touch to stay connected;
Only Love! And love is spread; without thought of towns, province or country.


Pure love is not hindered by man built borders or distance of miles,
It flows freely and far. It settles gently and remains steadfast. 
Pure love has no concern for time and does not worry about change.
Love that connected our hearts through our past,
Is a cherished love; a strong love; a love that will forever last!


Blessings be yours dear heart as I send pure love your way today ♥ LR