Is Your Consent Form Completed?

To believe and consent to be loved while unworthy is the great secret.

I didn't know why I couldn't consent to God loving me until two days ago.

Two days ago, I had a revelation that I never felt, never believed that God could forgive me of my past mistakes. Past wrongs. Past sins. I never accepted the forgiveness. I never forgave myself.

Consequently, I didn't believe God could truly love me. 

30 years in the North American Christian Church and I didn't believe God loved me. A place where Gods love is preached. A place where there is often an outward display of love being exemplified. A place where church attenders are taught that 'God is Love'. He does love because that is what and who HE is. 


God forgave. God forgot. God loved. 


God forgave me. I forgot to forgive myself. I couldn't accept the love He offered.

My Bible read "For God so loved the world (except for Robyn) that he gave His only son....."

God heard the prayers of the faithful (except mine). God answered prayers all the time (just not mine).

I came to accept it. I saw it daily. I felt it. I lived it. I believed it. I was conscience of it. I was very aware. It was a thought I pondered often.

I was unlovable. God didn't love me. Couldn't love me.

I didn't love me. Couldn't love me. I was unlovable.

I believed this to be a fact. The truth. The way it was. The way it would always be.

And then came June 8, 2009. It was my darkest hour since June 14, 2007 @ 5:25pm.




It was the moment I decided I was done. I wasn't going to do this 'life' any more. I couldn't. I didn't have what it took to take the next step forward. I decided to stop. Not continue. Not heal. Not move on.


I cried out in pain. I cried out in agony. I cried out in desperation. I cried out in complete surrender.


God had a different plan. He had a new message. He had something to say to me. He had a life line. He had a way out.


I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11.

On that bleak and despairing day, I heard the still quiet voice of God. I took a baby step forward and fell into His arms. 


For the first time EVER I felt God's love washing over me. Pouring down like rain. Soaking the dry and the parched. Flooding the empty. Filling the void.


It took some time for the reality to soak in (pun intended!). But soak it did. Drenched. Flooded.

My heart started to refresh. Renew. Hope. Believe. Mend. Heal. And receive.

I allowed Gods love. I consented to being loved. I accepted love.

The journey I had been on my whole life changed in an instant. I knew love. And it was beautiful.

The grief journey I had been on for two years took a turn for the better as I allowed, as I gave permission for God to love me.

Two days ago I realized that by consenting to God loving me; I had started to love myself. I was elated as I realized for the first time since I was 16 years old I had truly forgiven myself. Some where along the way, along the path I walked........ I let go, and let God.


Bless you today as you give it up and consent to be loved by God ♥ LR