Missing US

No matter how much I try to believe it. Want to believe it. Strive for it. Claim it to be so.


It is simply not true. I can not think it into existence. I have tried to make it happen.


I have failed.


There is a reason My Man and I have been together for just over 32 years.


Neither one of us does 'alone' well. We are not independent of one another. We are needy for each other. We not only like us; we miss us, we need us, we live best when we are us. WE don't do I or me well at all!


We fail at independence.


I often play the part of an independent 21st century kinda gal. I can come across as needing no one and relying only on self. At times I played the part so well I almost had myself convinced that I could do this life alone.


The last couple of months My Man and I have been apart more than we have been together.


He has been closing the book on our past.. Packing, hauling, working, finalizing, ending, selling and sealing.


32 years of us. 28 years of raising a family. 24 years living, working and being part of an amazing community. 12 years in one house; our last Alberta home.


I am in a new land. Opening a new book. Establishing the beginnings. New job. New home. New friends. New lifestyle. Setting the foundation for the next 32 years of us.


We have been taking care of the necessary. Trying to live in the moment; wanting to enjoy the journey. Thinking we are independent and can do life as a single person.


We can't and nor do we desire to.


It is time to be us again. I don't want to walk alone. I don't want to eat alone. I don't want to shop alone. Drive alone. Cook alone. I certainly am done sleeping alone! I don't want to dream alone. I don't want to move forward alone. I have explored our new surroundings as much as I am going to without My Man at my side. I don't want to experience any more island life alone.


I wasn't designed to be alone. I was created to be one of two. I am okay with that design.


I am aware there are many things that we are capable of as individuals. Many traits, personalities, quirks, habits and hobbies that we like about ourselves. That make us who we are. We are different & unique from the other with various talents and gifts. But yet, when we are together, when we are us; truly, completely us...we meld, mould, work as one so well, that we often don't see where one begins and the other ends.


We are counting down the days when we will live under the same roof again. If all goes well, we will be in each others arms in 5 days! (insert big time happy dance here!)


We aren't kids any more. We don't live in a fantasy world. We have been dealt enough reality to know what is up ahead. We have had 32 years experience of reality.


When we come together it will be glorious....for a time. It will be wonderful, romantic, special. Full of adventure and excitement. So much to see. So much to explore. So much more work to do. So many hours and days of adjusting to one another again.


We will slowly dismantle the haphazard independent life we have been struggling through. There will be discussions, arguments, tears and even out right fighting (NO, not physical! But definitely bigger than just an argument!). I know this because over the years, we have been here before.


We will talk it through. We will hug it out. We will alter our stubborn minds. We will soften our hardened hearts. We will pour out love on one another. We will snuggle and cuddle. We will make it work once more. I know this because over the years, we have been here before.


We will let the knowledge of our commitment to one another wash over us until the depth and purity of our love floods our hearts and brings unity once again.

Once again filling our daily existence with..... us! 


May today hold blessings of great measure in your relationships with loved ones; whether it be spouse, children, parents or friends ♥ LR