Honestly speaking....

Lately I have had a certain someone on my heart and mind. And once I start with that individual, my head and heart start to bleed into others as well. I am sure we all have people in our lives that cause us to examine ourselves, question our motives, check our actions and reconsider our next step. 


I have a fault. Actually, I have many! But today, would it be okay if we just focused on one? I am not here to beat myself up! =)


I am honest. Truthful. Tell it like it is. Shoot straight from the hip. HONEST.


I don't think I always have been. I believe it has developed with age and circumstance. I think it might fall into the catagory "Life is too short...."


I am going to use a very strong, negative word here but it truly does best describe my feeling. 


I HATE the games that are prevalently played in our society! 


Something as minor as the bartering that is done in certain stores (ie Antique) or garage sales, car sales, house sales etc. It doesn't make sense to me. And I believe it is a game of 'what can I get away with', which translates into dishonesty and greed in my head.


I mean, seriously! If your bottom line for your used car is $4000 than why not just be honest and say that? If you can afford to take $10,000 less on your home then why not advertise it that way? Why do credit card companies have various interest rates? Were you aware that often if you ask for less of an interest rate you could get it?? Really?  Does that not tell you something? It tells me they believe 'lets not offer our best because we make so much more $$$ with our poorest'!!!  OY!  I HATE the games!!


I tend to be a very intuitive and perceptive person. I can walk in a room or place of business and often see the fakes, the phonies, the wannabe's. I have a sense for the underlying tones in a chance encounter. It can be pretty easy for me to read between the lines. Often times I have wished to be naive. Blind to what is going on around me. Oblivious to the lies, deceit, scams and cons. 


I am not even talking professional scams or cons! Just the ones played out by those we rub shoulders with. The shop keepers, employers, neighbours, family and some we call friends.  


I do get it wrong sometimes. This bit about reading people and their motives. Sometimes I am pleasantly surprised as to how wrong I can be and rejoice at a new love. A new friend. A new place to shop. Or a new place to hang out. 


There have been a few times over the years where I have stepped out on a limb, with my ultra sensitive heart (I know, it's another fault and another blog some day!) and watched it blow up in my face...rather watched my heart be trampled and broken. And I have asked myself a zillion times over 'was I too honest?'  Should I have confronted? Should I have questioned? Should I have done things differently? Should I have ignored the issues at hand? This is where my earthly Angel would step in and say "it is not about you!" And she is right. The outcome of these situations, if done with love, in truth, with kindness and pure motive is not my issue. It is resting on the shoulders and the hearts of those involved. It is no longer my 'stuff'.


Imagine the situation of a friend going to another friend and saying, with love, in truth, with kindness and pure motive "your husband is cheating on you" (THIS IS NOT A SITUATION I WAS INVOLVED IN; JUST AN EXAMPLE.) How many would 'shoot' the messenger? Or, friend goes to friend and says "I really don't think you are being fair to yourself, your heart or your God by sleeping around on your husband" (THIS IS NOT A SITUATION I WAS INVOLVED IN; JUST AN EXAMPLE.) How many would end the friendship with the honest, pure of heart friend?  


Would you tell your friend she looks smokin hot in a dress that would look better on my grandmother? Or would you ask if she wants to go shopping with you? Would your friend still love you if you told her how it honestly looked? Do you tell your husband when he hurts you, whether emotionally or God forbid physically? Or when he doesn't meet your needs? Do you tell your employer "no I won't tell Mr. Smith you aren't here because you are standing before me"? 


The point here is that I will be the first to admit an Honest Heart can be painful, can end relationships and break hearts. I have learned this the hard and hurtful way. I have learned to weigh the consequences carefully and with prayer. I continue to check my motives. Confronting with honesty is also something I don't do on a daily, weekly and thank God not even a monthly basis! 


Will I stop being honest to save my heart from being broken? I am designed and created in the image of a loving God. He gave me this intuitive, sensitive and honest heart. I don't like 'games' for a reason. And I don't see that changing any time soon! 


Being honest is NOT about being cruel! It is NOT about making yourself look good or better? It is NOT about intentionally hurting someone! It is NOT a crusade to be won!


Being honest is about LOVE, TRUTH OF HEART, KINDNESS AND PURE MOTIVE.


When the situation has no other alternatives but to confront, we need to check our motive, approach with love, with truth of heart and with kindness. We have to trust the process and believe the outcome will please God and not self. We have to step back and allow the individual to respond &/or react in the way they best see for themselves. And we need to continue to pray for the individuals involved and sometimes we need to pray for a renewed and healthy friendship to be restored. 


Blessings to you from my love-filled, honest ♥ straight to yours ♥ LR