A Blended Mess of Wonderfulness

One thing is sure in my life...I am forever changing!

I had a precious friend tell me this week "You have changed a lot, but you are still the same" I LOVE that!

It is so very true. I am a very different person today than I was 8 months ago. And I was a very different person 8 months ago from the person I had become over 4 years ago.

I am not who I once was. And I am okay with that!

I have met with a few business minded people over the last week and this truth about being someone different came out in full glory.

I had to explain that I may have said one thing, but I truly meant something different....that is until I process it into the head and heart space I now reside; which then changes where I am really coming from altogether! If that makes sense to you...congratulations, we must be kindred spirits!

I believe I can get away with that kind of thought processing when it is all based on openness, honesty & a place of vulnerability. I am not trying to be someone I am not...any more. And I will be the first to tell you, I don't have it all figured out. It is okay to falter, stumble and even fail.  OH WHAT??? Did that just come from me? Wow, I really am different! How many years I have spent attempting to hide my faults and failures.

I realize now that the only person I was fooling was me, as truth has a way of showing it's beautiful self!

I spent years accepting others expectations they placed on me and bending over backwards to not let them down. To live up to all they expected. Give them all they hoped for, all they desired.  Not verbalizing the stress I felt or the inadequacies of my abilities. I lived by the term 'fake it 'till you make it'!

I don't believe I did it for them per say. For when we do something for the praise of others we truly are doing it for ourselves. At the time I felt I was giving of self and thinking only of others. It is now I realize how messed up I was. For it was me who needed the results. Me who needed the thanks and words of well done.

Truth of heart and soul has been revealed to me recently and I no longer need to live up to peoples expectations. I also no longer accept others expectations. And, I no longer place unnecessary expectations on my self. I don't need praise and accolades from those around me like I used to.

I believe it is because I have come to a healing place of acceptance... for the person I am, the person I was created to be.

A wonderful mess of Blessings to you today ♥ LR